I don’t think I’ve ever felt so lonely. I think I like using this blog to rant because I feel like there’s probably a lot more people that can relate.

I have no one to speak to anymore, and I’m scared that I will relapse again I can’t control my emotions anymore and I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with situations because I can’t escape or avoid them.

when people are angry at me I crumble more I don’t know what to do I feel so trapped.

Proud to be the ugly friend. Someone show me the way to my grave (compass)

Ahhh

God man send me down a guy to come travel with me and eat random food and watch movies with me and and and just do random shit with me for fun

Lonely

I’m at that stage where I actually need a mans like I want to marry Theo james if I can. Nah I just don’t wanna admit it but like I want a boyfriend like I don’t need a guy to survive but it’d be nice 🙂

Random thoughts #2

When will I reach the best version of myself?

What does it mean to be satisfied and happy with your life?

What do you do when your family is falling apart and you can’t prevent it?

Is the world actually ending on 18th April?

Anxiety levels over 9000!!!!!

Darn it #2

When you’re excited for something then you realise you can’t because somehow shits going to go wrong for you as it always does.

 

Darn it

When you try to explain yourself hoping people understand you but then they don’t understand you even more so they are still a-holes.

Things that upset me

Am I the only one who feels extremely ugly sometimes, not even sometimes like generally all the time. So you then become depressed because you look in the mirror and all you see is just pure disgustingness and you know you’ll never have the money to do do anything about it… that’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

You have people trying to make you feel better about yourself but you don’t believe them because they’re probably just saying that because they’re your friend.

Personally I’m not shallow but it worries me that I hate myself and my face and I can’t have it the way I want it to make me happy not because anyone else just me, and sometimes my heart sinks to my rectum when I realise I have to look at myself for the rest of my life. I just wanna be happy with the way I look and that’s never going to happen because there’s nothing to like about my face AT ALL. I don’t know if it’s just me or..

• my eyes are dull as hell, like lol gods cruel.
• My lips df happened during creation
• lol my nose might aswell take up my whole face
• Bruh my hair, not even enough to compliment my weird ass head shape
• I have textured skin on my forehead and my skins uneven as hell.

Sad part is makeup doesn’t do the job.

Thats me roasting myself for today.

 

I honestly want to share positivity I wish I could be positive and put the point out you should be happy with yourself but I’d be contradicting myself, this is just a post I thought I should put out because I felt like ranting about my obscure face.

Notes from a depressed artist

Am I invisible. Spread out like fog I shared my feelings and shared myself with as many people as I could. Then I choked, drowned in my own words. And. The hardest part. Is I couldn’t take them back.

Artwork by one of my favourite artists @Tillith.